Sailing Weather or Whether?

This feeling of distance is something I had not experienced during our past three years together. It feels unrelated to the requirements surrounding Covid but the whether? seems to be gaining momentum even while the weather has been beautiful.

Change is in the air after we docked in the Keys for our extended warm-weather stay, so far the longest span of time we have been together on the boat. We had enjoyed several three-to-four-week sailing trips along the East coast on his 30-foot sailboat, with breaks between to return to our separate living spaces. Each well-planned trip brought us closer to our winter destination in the Florida Keys. It was the perfect plan but now I have no idea where this whether? comes from. I ask because I care, but does he?

Our limited space has not been a problem for me. I found it easy to engage in the marina activities of morning yoga, pickle ball and bocce ball in my down time. He became bored with bocce ball and sits to read his paper most of the day. Without any discussion I thought it best to leave the space to him and the quiet. If I ask, he chooses not to discuss his obvious need for space and his increasingly creative misuse of the small spaces we share. Without discussion, I quietly try to reconcile his lack of consideration. Both make my time here more difficult. I am unsure of what it is for him.